JOKE: how to fart in public without being noticed

So how do you fart in an elevator or at a movie, or
while you’re just out on a date or out with pals?
Here’s a complete guide to farting in public without
ever getting caught!
Let it Rip: Don’t be afraid to let it rip anywhere,
anytime. Chances are if it’s in a public place with
loads of people around, all heads will be turning at
each other in suspicion. You must do the same. Act
normal, and let the smell intoxicate the zone around
you. Remember, the fart is your oyster.
Face Off:The most important part about farting is
preventing anybody from seeing you do that hard-to-
avoid facial expression upon release. Instead, release
it naturally, and the moment you see someone else
with a disgusted face, you must express disgust,
subtly. It shouldn’t be a case of you noticing the fart
first. In most cases, whoever detected it, ejected it.
Chain Reaction: Now that you’ve shown your
disapproval, look around you and without pointing
fingers per se, instead look at someone that looks like
a farter, in disgust. The likelihood is that all others
will look towards this person too. You need to be the
‘adult’ here. Lead others away from the act as if you’re
a fireman on duty. Your leadership skills will be
rewarded with glances of praise for your skill in
dealing with the crime. At this point try not to release
any more. Keep these in reserve for your next step,
walking away.
Walk the Line Slowly, but in calculated fashion,
walk confidently away from the scene of the crime
and take out your mobile to show you’re a busy
person who doesn’t have time for all this farting
about. Your walk should be cool, like you’re an
ubersexual on the Paris catwalk.
Wherever you may be, let your wind pass free
Swimming pools are always a good bet, even though
bubbles will rise when you let it go. You can just flap
your hands around when the bubbles rise indicating
that the bubbles are a result of your hand waves and
not your arse tremors.
If you need to let one go in the cinema, do it. With
Dolby Surround Sound fitted into most cinemas, any
scene usually has music or loud moments. Be
opportunistic and release when the time is right.
Playing sports is always a good way to fart in public,
especially with any sports involving running. Nobody
can notice it because the adrenalin takes away
anybody’s sense of noticing such an act
Covert Farting Techniques!
Cough loudly when you fart.
Act cool and suave, as if you would never fart.
Fart when dressed smartly. Chances are, you don’t
fart compared to someone in jeans and sneakers.
If you’re out on a first date, let it be silent but violent.
And go blaming it on the waiter while he poured the
wine.
If in a meeting, let it out. But use the ‘squeaky chair’
you’re sitting on as an excuse.

So, next time you are in a public place, fill free to do your legal act. What do you think?