RELATIONSHIP TIPS: Never Stop Comunicating

Good communication is a fundamental part of a
healthy relationship. When people stop
communicating well, they stop relating well, and
times of change or stress can really bring out
disconnect. As long as you are communicating,
you can work through whatever problem you’re
facing.

Learn Your Partner's Emotional Cues:

Each of us is a little different in how we best
receive information. Some people might respond
better to sight, sound, or touch. Your partner’s
responses may be different from yours. Take
some time to learn your partner’s cues, and be
sure to communicate your own as well. For
example, one person might find a brief massage
after a stressful day a loving mode of
communication—while another might just want
to talk over a hot cup of tea.
So much of our communication is transmitted by
what we don’t say. Nonverbal cues—such as eye
contact, leaning forward or away, or touching
someone’s arm—communicate much more than
words. For a relationship to work well, each
person has to be receptive to sending and
receiving nonverbal cues. Learning to understand
this “body language” can help you better
understand what your partner is trying to say.
Think about what you are transmitting as well,
and if what you say matches what you feel. If you
say “I’m fine,” but you clench your teeth and look
away, then your body is clearly signaling you are not.

Question your assumptions:

If you’ve known each other for a while, you may
assume that your partner has a pretty good idea
of what you are thinking and what you need.
However, your partner is not a mind reader.
While your partner may have some idea, it is
much healthier to directly express your needs to
avoid any confusion. Your partner may sense
something, but it might not be what you need.
What’s more, people change, and what you
needed and wanted five years ago, for example,
may be very different now. Getting in the habit of
expressing your needs helps you weather difficult
times, which otherwise may lead to increasing
resentment, misunderstanding, and anger.

Use your senses to keep stress in check:

If you’re not calm and focused, you won’t be able
to communicate effectively. The best way to
reduce stress quickly and reliably is through the
senses. But each person responds differently to
sensory input, so you need to find things that are soothing to you.