Welcome To Mr-Jaytee's Blog: RELATIONSHIP TIPS: How To Maintain A Healthy Relationship. (PART 1: Things You Must Do Independently)

Sometimes relationships can seem like a lot of work until you sit back
and realize just how much you've been given. A thriving, healthy
relationship requires some give and take, and is absolutely within your
reach if you and your partner are willing to do a bit of work. If you
and your partner are right for each other, all the work will definitely
be worth it in the long run.

Part 1 of 2: Things You Must Do Independently

Take responsibility for your own happiness. Save yourself several hours of arguing by remembering this one rule: it's not up to anyone else to make you happy.

Make good on your words.
Follow through on your promises. When you say you're going to do
something, do it. Don't say that you'll cook dinner, or get a birthday
present, and then blow it off or simply forget about it. What this does
is systematically destroy trust. And relationships need trust in order
to thrive.

Admit your mistakes. If
you know you've done something to hurt your partner, intentionally or
not, own up to it. Humble yourself and apologize sincerely, without
making excuses or justifications like "I'm sorry you made me angry."

Commit to changing your behavior. If you notice yourself apologizing
for the same mistake over and over, step it up a level. Tell your
partner that you recognize this mistake keeps happening, and you want to
train yourself to stop. Request help and ask for him or her to gently
point it out to you when you're making this mistake again.

Be realistic. Every
relationship has disagreements and days when staying isn't the easiest
choice. But what makes a relationship healthy is choosing to resolve
those problems and push through the hard days, instead of just letting
issues and resentment fester.

Review your expectations. Do you see your partner as a person, with
both winning qualities and flaws, or as someone you expect to be
perfect? If your expectations are so astronomical that no one could live
up to them 100% of the time, you're setting up your relationship for
failure.
Accept that conflict happens. If you expect to be in a long-term
relationship, you're bound to have the occasional disagreement. Remember
that one argument isn't the end of everything, and there's no person on
earth that you'd agree with all the time.
Always ask yourself whether you're better off in the relationship
than out of it. If you don't think you're better off in the
relationship, then you probably should have a serious discussion with
your partner. In a loving relationship, this question almost always gets
a simple "Yes."

Listen to your partner.
Sometimes, all your partner wants is for you to lend an ear and be
sympathetic about one of their problems. Other times, your partner wants
you to actively give them advice. Know which one your partner is
looking for, and try to give them what they want. Being a good listener
is all about paying attention to what they're saying and not blowing it
off.

Listening to your partner will enhance your relationship in many
ways. It will help you resolve differences without arguing; let you
explore each other's personality more deeply; and even help you pick out
an awesome Christmas present. There are no downsides to listening.

Show your affection in whatever way you can. There's a difference between knowing that you're loved and feeling
that you're loved. Sometimes, we bank on the fact that our partners
should know that we love them even when we don't show it. Don't rely on
this too much. The best relationships use affection to show love.

Do something for your partner that you know s/he will truly
appreciate. Whether it means getting up early to mow the lawn, taking
the kids to karate, or baking that nutella shortcake, it's often the little favors that say the most.
Don't be afraid to show physical affection every once in a while.
Loving relationships feed off of the little kisses, hugs, and back-rubs
that are mainstays of affection.
Do the unexpected. It's one thing to kiss your partner after you
come home from work; it's another thing to kiss your wife while you're
skydiving, falling 10,000 feet from a plane. It's the thought that
counts, so put a little effort into it for huge returns.

Be loyal. Make sure
he/she knows that you will always be there for him/her. Put him/her
first in your life as much as you possibly can. Not that you have to
only see him/her ever, or never talk to anyone else, but he/she should
know that he/she can always count on you if he/she needs something.
Also, expect the same loyalty from him/her. You deserve to feel prized
in the relationship just as much as him/her.

Do not ever hide anything from him/her.
Especially your feelings about him/her and your relationship - whether
good or bad! This way you will be able to overcome all the difficulties
and challenges together. If something bad happened in your past that
still affects you in the present, he/she needs to know about it. Note:
you should be able to discuss your sexual history. It is an obligation
before you decide to be sexually involved with your partner. But you
should make them feel safe and not judgmental and you should expect the
same from your partner.

Give him/her some space.
Everyone needs their own privacy and some freedom, so don't constantly
watch everything he/she does. Everyone hates to be watched, stifled and
controlled.

Do not ever spy on him/her (reading his/her phone, stalking him/her
on social networks, following him/her around). If he/she is cheating on
you, you will find out. These things cannot be kept secret for very
long. But if you spy on him/her and he/she is innocent, you will lose
his trust and respect forever.

Express your feelings towards him/her.
Always remind him/her of how much they mean to you, and what they
represent to you. Women are not the only ones who need expressions of
love and care, men need that too.

If you have a problem, you need to let him/her know - preferably in a
clear and calm manner without any yelling. If he says `Are you OK?` and
you answer yes, do not expect him to understand that you really meant
no. Be honest and open.
Let him/her know it is safe to open up to you about what he is
feeling. Reward his/her trust in you by sympathizing with him/her and,
but you don`t need to say much, just listen.
Don't be afraid to lose him/her or spend every minute fearing the
huge pain that that might cause you. Enjoy each wonderful moment as it
happens, and realize that there will never be another one just like it.
Never be pathetic and needy just to make him/her pay attention to you and give you sympathy.
A solid relationship should be based on mutual respect; if you are
constantly trying to pull him/her down with you, this means you don`t
respect him /her enough to want him/her to be happy. If you are
depressed, see a doctor - don`t pull some guy/girl into your problems.

Encourage him/her. So
that he/she can be more successful at work or study. That will make
him/her realise how much you care about his/her future and wish that
he/she'd become one of the best. It will also make his/her feeling
towards you grow even stronger, and he/she will believe that you're
ready to support him/her on anything he/she does.